136 I was scared
Kael pov
I was scared.
I was really scared.
Yesterday, before Lilith sent that note, I had locked myself in my sdy just to escape Seraphina’s rant. She had screamed that I hadn’t taken her side against Lilith, that I would drive her to break the bond and lose the child in her womb because I didn’t love her enough.
I had sat there with my hands covering my face, my body slouched weighed down by exhaustion from Seraphina, guilt over Lilith, and anxiety about the Alphas.
I was on the brink of completely breaking down as I tried to pull myself together, my mind spiraling through endless thoughts about how things had come to this.
Was it when I accepted the beta position despite never truly wanting it?
Was it when I discovered my sexuality?
Or was it when I betrayed Lilith, the only person who truly understood me, who had always been there for me?
All my life, I had been someone without a mind of his own. Someone too afraid to think, too afraid to act, terrified that the outcome would never be what I hoped for.
I was always scared of disappointing the people around me, those who placed their expectations on my shoulders, those who believed I could be something.
So when my parents told me that I should love Lilith, the beta’s daughter, and that I would marry her, I tried to. I truly tried
I believed I loved her.
I believed I would marry her.
I believed I could never hurt her.
But then her father died, her mother tried to end her life with wolfsbane and the world erased the radiant smile that girl had always worn.
Lilith was left all alone. Everyone abandoned her. Everyone despised her.
Even my parents’ sudden disdain shocked me, until I realized the truth: they had never truly loved her. They had loved her father’s position. And once he was gone, they stopped pretending.
And that meant I was expected to stop loving her too.
Even though I knew I had never truly loved her in the way they wanted me to in the first place, she was still dear to me, like a close friend.
She understood me. She saw through the strength I pretended to live and knew how weak I really was… and she was okay with
that.
She told me I could be myself. That I didn’t have to care what other thought.
And, despite my family’s disdain, I tried-tried with everything 1d to help her. Goddess, I did but everything spiraled out of control.
And even then, Lilith… Lilith wasn’t like me.
She was strong.
She was brave.
1960 w scored
+25 Bonus
She stood her ground. And even when the world branded her weak her choices disgraceful, she didn’t care. Because she knew, she knew, she wasn’t just fighting to live. She was fighting for a reson to live.
If I was being honest… I envied her.
I wanted her courage. Her strength. Because I knew that if she had been the one who received that call in the study, she wouldn’t have hesitated for even a second.
But I did.
Even when I received word that the rogues had slipped into the pack and were heading for the packhouse… I couldn’t move.
Even when I saw the cab driver beaten and bleeding as he desperat ly told me Lilith had sent a note and the packhouse was under attack… I still didn’t move.
Mother and Seraphina believed it was all a lie. Father didn’t. He kw it wasn’t.
And yet I stood there, trembling, sweat dripping down my face, my mind screaming at me to move while my body refused to obey. And Father, the man who had always been cold, who had always told me to man up, looked at me with a frown and sald quietly, 1
“If you don’t want to go, it’s okay, son. Stay.”
He knew.
He knew I was weak.
He knew I was scared.
“I was scared!”
I screamed, tears spilling freely down my face.
“I was scared to die! I was scared to lead the guards, I was scared to take action!”
My shoulders shook as I felt every eye in the room on me.
“I-I couldn’t do it… even though I knew the packhouse was being attacked. Even though I knew people could be saved if I moved. I was too afraid to act, Alpha… I was too afraid to lead.”
I cried out, blood streaming from my head, but the pain meant noting, compared to the agony crushing my chest.
“I-I am a weakling,” I stammered softly, hating myself, hating fear, hating the situation I had created.
“Even before the note, I received a call from a guard telling me the rogues were already in the pack but I just stood there…. frozen. H-he had asked me what to do. He had asked me for order, but I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move.”
My hands slowly clenched into fists, my voice cracking apart. No one spoke. They only watched as I unraveled, as I made myself Jook utterly pathetic.
“What if I gave the wrong orders? What If I led them wrong? What I disappointed everyone? W what If I died?”
I choked on the words. “Those thoughts wouldn’t stop. The fear of lying paralyzed me.”
“I didn’t want to die… not like the previous beta who sacrificed eveything and never even returned as a body. I didn’t want to die … I really didn’t.”
My voice broke completely as I apologized, tears blurring my visio, my forehead pressed to the ground.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”
The air grew thick and heavy with tension, the silence stretching it fell suffocating Just when it seemed no one would speak, my mother’s shaky whisper cut through It.
“Oh, Kael…”
138 was soon
+25 Bonus
Then an irritated click of the tongue sliced through the room. I did’t need to look to know it was Alpha Claude. Seraphina’s ragged breathing echoed faintly, a clear sign he had released her.
Before anyone could speak, before I could even stop the tears, the sharp scrape of a chair moving cut through the silence. Footsteps followed, slow and shaky, stopping right in front of me.
I stayed frozen, head still bowed, trembling, crying, certain it was one of the Alphas, coming to finish me for what I had done.
“Look up.”
Her sharp voice rang through the room.
My entire body went cold. I stiffened, my breath hitching painfully
L-Lilith?
Slowly, I lifted my head, blinking through the tears. She stood ove me, staring down with an emotionless expression, lips pressed into a thin line, hands clenched tightly at her sides.
My lips parted as I whispered softly,
“Lilith-
>>
I never finished.
Smack.
My face snapped to the side as the sharp sound cracked through the room, shocking everyone. My heart slammed violently against my chest, my eyes widening in disbelief as the sting burned across my cheek, stealing the breath from my lungs.
“You don’t seem to get it, do you?” Lilith said, her voice thick with rage as she glared down at me. My body remained frozen, my vision trembling, until she spoke again.
“All this time, you’ve only been talking about yourself. About how scared you are. About how you didn’t want to die.” Her voice wavered. “But Kael…”
She swallowed hard.
“Kael, you are not a weakling because you were afraid. Fear is human. I get scared too. I was terrified yesterday-terrified of dying, terrified of leaving my mother behind, terrified of meeting the same fate as my father.”
Her gaze burned into me.
“But that isn’t your crime. Your crime isn’t fear.”
She shook her head slowly. noveldrama
“Your crime is letting those people die. Your crime is backing away from your responsibility. Your crime is having the conscience to abandon the lives of those who needed you.”
My eyes widened at her words. The world seemed to freeze as realation crashed into me. I snapped my gaze up at Lilith, who was still glaring at me, while everyone else watched in heavy, suffocating silence.
She was right.
Because of fear, because of that very emotion, I had lost my consciace. I had been willing to let people die because I was afraid.
My eyes instinctively flicked toward Claude, who stared at me with deep frown, an unsettling seriousness etched into his face. Even the men I had always called ruthless, the men I feared, would never hesitate to sacritice themselves for their people.
Yet I had.
A tear slipped down my cheek. Then another.
And then a loud, strangled cry tore from deep within.
Cedella
Cedella is a passionate storyteller known for her bold romantic and spicy novels that keep readers hooked from the very first chapter. With a flair for crafting emotionally intense plots and unforgettable characters, she blends love, desire, and drama into every story she writes. Cedella’s storytelling style is immersive and addictive—perfect for fans of heated romances and heart-pounding twists.
Total Responses: 0