Ibite down on my lip as I put aside my quill, my heart aching. It’s my sister’s birthday today, and it’s the first time she’ll have to spend it without me. Usually, the day would be filled with festivities Father arranged for her, but she and I would always find a moment to escape together. I’d sing to her, and we’d share a slice of cake, just the two of us. We’d stand by the window and reflect on the year behind us and all she wished to accomplish in the next. Those moments we shared were filled with hope and joy, and they belong among my favorite memories.The pain of leaving home is not as intense as it initially was, but today the loss weighs heavily on me. I miss Serena, and I miss the lead-up to her birthday, the talk of dresses and color schemes, the trips we’d go on to find her the perfect bakery and the perfect outfit. I miss her.“What’s wrong?”I look up at Felix, startled. “Nothing.” I shake my head and clutch my letter to my chest. “Felix, would you please deliver this to my sister?”I hand him the letter with a sigh, and he takes it from me with a frown on his face. He’s been delivering my letters for me for weeks now, never asking me about them, but today he looks curious.“It’s my sister’s birthday today,” I murmur, my melancholy leaking into my voice. “I can’t be with her today, but I’d like to wish her a happy birthday nonetheless.”Felix takes a step closer to me and cups my cheek, his touch gentle. “Of course, beloved,” he says. “I’ll see to it that it gets to her at once.”I watch as the letter shimmers bright gold before it disappears and sigh. I hope this will bring a smile to her face. I hope it lets her know that I’m thinking of her today.“You miss her,” Felix murmurs.“More than you could ever know. My little sister is everything to me. She’s all I had in a life that I never belonged in. She was my confidante, my best friend.”Felix looks away, his expression conflicted. “Once the curse has been managed, you can go see her,” he tells me, and I nod. Thoughts of returning home don’t come to me as frequently as they used to, but days such as today make it hard to resist the desire.“Having said that,” Felix adds, his tone hesitant, “the atrium was filled with snow this morning.”My eyes widen, disappointment flooding me. All morning I’ve felt heartbroken, and this just adds to it. I run a hand through my hair and inhale shakily. “How could that be? It was fine for so many days!”Felix nods and brushes my hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear instead. “Take a moment to feel out your powers, Arabella. Do you feel the connection you forged to the flames in the atrium?”noveldramaMy eyes widen when I realize that I don’t. Feelings of sadness consumed my every thought this morning, pushing aside the flame I kept in the back of my mind. “Oh Fates, Felix! I did this!”He smiles, a hint of relief in his eyes. “Arabella, my love… it’s hard to consistently sustain energy flow of any kind. You did incredibly well. The pipes are already in place, aren’t they? It’s just a matter of reheating them. I suspected it was the curse, that the pipes may have been destroyed altogether, but that doesn’t appear to be the case. As we hoped, your elemental magic renders anything it touches immune to the curse. That’s good news, beloved.”I nod, but I fail to hide my disappointment. I was so certain that we’d succeeded, that we were a step closer to fulfilling our plans. If the flames go out every time I get distracted, then how are we meant to make this work? If sorrow pushes aside the emotions that fuel my fire, then how do I sustain it?“Come on,” Felix says, his hand finding mine. He entwines our fingers and pulls me along. He snaps his fingers once we get to the hallway, and both of our capes appear around our shoulders.“Gloves?” I ask, and Felix nods.“Yes, my love,” he says, before closing his eyes for a moment. When he opens them again, he’s holding both of our gloves.“Why is it that you often snap your fingers when you call upon your alchemy powers?”Felix shakes his head. “I’m not quite sure. It helps me concentrate my powers. Concentration is of paramount importance in alchemy, or the item being transported or transmuted could be damaged. When I first started learning, I lost things entirely. I’m uncertain where items go while they’re in transit. I suspect it’s some kind of limbo.”I bite down on my lip, guilt settling deep in my stomach. I never considered how hard it must be for Felix to constantly use his alchemy. I always took it for granted, in part because he makes it look so easy. “Is it hard for you to send my letters?”He looks at me then, hesitating. “It would be harder for a messenger to get through our woods to hand you her replies.”I suppose that’s as clear of a yes as Felix will give me. I’ve been asking him to send and retrieve letters for me every single week since he offered. How much must it have drained him to do this for me?“Thank you,” I tell him. “I’m sorry for not saying this sooner. My sister’s letters have made my stay here bearable. I would be terribly lonely without them.”“Bearable, huh?” he repeats, and I pause.“I didn’t mean it quite that way. You know what I meant.”Felix stops walking and turns toward me, his expression guarded. “No, Arabella. I don’t.”I hesitate, unsure what to say. I might not be as lonely as I used to be, but no matter how much I enjoy being with Felix, in the back of my mind there’s always a niggling thought reminding me I was forced to come here.“Let’s go,” I tell him. “We should heat up the pipes as soon as we can.”Felix nods, his hands disappearing into his pockets. I’ve grown so accustomed to him reaching for my hand that it startles me, and I instantly feel guilty for being unable to answer him in a way that might set him at ease. Lying didn’t feel right, and I’m certain Felix would see straight through it.“Your Excellency!” Elaine says, rushing over when we reach the atrium. “Please, is there anything you can do?”The desperation in her eyes fuels my guilt. I may have been taken from my kingdom, but Elaine lost everything. If she can fight the way she does every single day, then I must, too. Feeling sorry for myself for even a moment isn’t acceptable, not when so much is at stake.“I’ll try my best, Elaine. I swear it.”She nods, but I see the way she trembles. I’ve never seen her display a moment of weakness, not once. I never realized just how much hope our success in the atrium gave her. A quick glance around the atrium makes it clear that it isn’t just Elaine whose faith is shaken. This happened because I lost control over my emotions, because I allowed my self-pity to overwrite the memories that fueled the fire.I sink down to the floor, my hands pressed upon the icy ground that felt warm against my fingers just a day ago. My eyes fall closed, and I let my favorite memories of Serena and me fill my mind, until my heart overflows with happiness instead of sorrow. I smile to myself when I feel the threads of fire all around me, and I pull them toward me with a grateful heart.I let the energy run through me, letting my body be a conduit for the fire I’m sending deep down to the pipes, and I breathe a sigh of relief when I feel it hit its target. I sit there, on my knees on the floor, letting memories of my childhood fuel my fire. I think of Serena and me sneaking away, discovering parts of the palace we never knew existed. Those memories turn into ones of us sneaking into town and trying mead together for the first time. Then there’s us dancing and laughing together, but perhaps my favorite of them all are the memories of Serena and me just sitting together, dreaming of the future.I open my eyes when I’m certain the pipes are fully heated, my heart filled with happiness of a bittersweet kind. “Happy birthday, Serena,” I whisper. The quickest way for me to get back to her is to complete Elaine’s project. Once we do, I’ll be able to see her and wish her a happy birthday myself. I might have missed this year’s festivities, but I won’t miss next year’s. If I can have it my way, Felix and I will attend together.